Sometimes

Tomorrow is our eighth wedding anniversary.

When our anniversaries roll around, usually we’re out of gift ideas. Christmas just happened, then my birthday, and his is next, and so we Google the “traditional” anniversary gifts. And you know what we usually find out?

Traditional anniversary gifts suck.

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Happy Saltaversary, honey.

(I read that list to Jack a while back and he said “Salt? Cheeto! I’m gonna get you French Fries!” Every girl’s dream.)

(We ended up buying patio furniture, high-fiving, and calling it good.)

I’m helping launch a site this week at work, which thusfar has been, shallwesay, a little intense, so there was little time for salt shopping anyway.

And here we are, eight years in. 13 years, really. A damn lifetime for, well, 13 year olds. And I’m trying to figure out what I’ve learned. How I’m wiser. What advice I would possibly have for the 22-year-old who is marrying that nice karate boy today.

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And the truth is, the only thing in my head is, “it’s going to suck sometimes, and it’s going to be great sometimes.” It’s all I can assume about the rest of this life with or without him.

It’s going to suck sometimes, and it’s going to be great sometimes.

You won’t see each other a lot. You’ll get used to that. You’ll realize you got used to that. You’ll realize that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Getting back to not being used to that will take work.

It’s going to suck sometimes.

Your careers will be more fulfilling than you ever thought possible and you will cheer each other on in them, despite how very very different they are.

It’s going to be great sometimes.

You will stare out the window on a road trip because there’s just nothing more to say about that thing you can’t agree on. You consider the fact that there aren’t kids involved yet. Your brain decides how easy it would be to leave even though you know better, you always know better.

It’s going to suck sometimes.

He just won’t shut up even thought it’s 2am and you’re telling him you just want to go to sleep but he just wants to tell you one more thing one more thing one more thing! And you won’t be able to stop giggling which really won’t help convey just how very annoyed you are that he never ever shuts up.

It’s going to be great sometimes.

We have seen beauty. We have seen intense pain. We don’t pretend to know what we’re doing; we don’t. Our lives look different than we imagined. Worse than we imagined. Better than we imagined.

And the only thing I know about the next eight years is that it’s going to suck sometimes.

And it’s going to be great sometimes too.

One thought on “Sometimes

  1. Cathy

    I called him motor mouth as a toddler. The minute he figured out how to string words together, he was off & running. I’m just surprised he didn’t talk in his sleep! Love you both so much!!

    Reply

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